


ghosting

by glitterjungwoo



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Friends to Lovers, Multi, Mutual Pining, New Years Eve Sex, Please read the Author's Note, Slow Burn, Smut, That's what this fic is, discussions about pegging, so think about rosewoo having a blonde twin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2019-08-17
Packaged: 2020-09-02 13:46:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20276878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glitterjungwoo/pseuds/glitterjungwoo
Summary: they meet at a wedding, and what starts out as them bickering over who's organizational skills work best turns into something that neither of them were prepared for.the most unexpected things sometimes become the most important.





	ghosting

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE READ:
> 
> so, a long time ago an anon on cc was like "what if rosewoo had a blonde twin...haha jk...unless?" and it spurred this whole little mini au where rosewoo was married to Jaehyun and blonde rose had a thing for Doyoung and it was a little angstier. that's how this all started and it has now become this 20K absolute unit. so for some preface:
> 
> violet - the blonde twin  
rose - the og rosewoo  
Jaehyun - is married to rose in this fic  
Doyoung - meets Violet and this fic basically is their whole relationship development.
> 
> I would like to end this author's note with a huge thanks to all my friends that have made this possible. 
> 
> Thank you so much to calla for motivating me to get this started and actually helped me come up with the name for the blonde twin. fun fact, Violet's name was originally going to be calla before it was finally changed to Violet.
> 
> Thank you to my best online friend Bea for being there for me when I was going through periods of insecurity with this fic. Your love and support helped me get through some really tough spots and appreciate you so so much.
> 
> Thank you to Stefi for being my beta reader and helping me edit this absolute unit. Thank you so much for the time you spent helping out I wish I could hug you again!
> 
> And finally thank you to everyone that has been sending me cc's letting me know how excited you are to read this fic. I'm sorry it took so long but I hope that this meets all your expectations. I love you all so much even if I don't quite know your names, you are loved and appreciated.
> 
> twitter: [@gitterjungwoo](https://twitter.com/glitterjungwoo)

The night is dark and cold, the clouds that had built up during the day have now led to a thundering storm that’s releasing sheets of rain from the sky. No one should be out while the weather is so nasty, most people in the streets have run for cover from the downpour. 

But coming out of a taxi cab is a young woman, her blonde hair soaked through along with her work clothes and jacket. Every step she takes she feels the rain water that seeped through sloshing back and forth.

Although she’s cold and shivering, she is thankful. Thankful for the rain that hides the way she was been crying since she left the restaurant and left behind the man that had just confessed his love for her.

Thinking about it makes her cry more, and once she finds the home she’s been looking for, she sighs in relief. 

She walks up the front porch of the typical suburban looking two story home. There’s dozens of flowers decorating every part of the home that are safe from the rough storm under the awning. 

It takes two rings of the doorbell, but the door opens and the smell of home cooked food and the sound of soft music playing hits her. 

“Violet? What are you doing here? Did you walk here your clothes are absolutely drenched and you shouldn’t be walking out when it’s like this! You could get really sick!”

It’s her twin sister, Rose, pulling her inside and rushing to get towels and a change of clothing for her. Violet stands on the doormat, not wanting to make a mess for her sister to clean up. She’s already made enough messes in her life tonight.

Rose comes back with fluffy towels that smell like flowery fabric softener. Violet removes her outer jacket and her shoes and socks follow. She takes the slippers handed to her by her sister and shuffles to the bathroom to take a warm shower and change. 

When Violet is in the bathroom, she undresses and puts her phone on the sink counter. The screen immediately lights up with messages, and she knows that they are all most likely from him.

By accident, Violet takes a peek at one of them and it makes her feel worse.

_Doyoung: _

_Violet, please let me know that you’re safe. I love you, and if anything ever happened to you I don’t know what I would do._

She flips the phone so she can’t see the screen anymore, her heart can’t take another message full of love that she doesn’t think she deserves.

The shower is steaming hot, and Violet lets the water help her regain the warmth she lost after walking in the pouring rain. It makes her feel better physically, but it’ll take more than a warm shower to make her feel better inside.

When she turns off the shower and dries herself, she goes to grab the clothes her sister had gotten her. There’s a smile on Violet’s face as she recognizes the soft joggers she thought she had lost forever. They were her absolute favorite pair and it manages to bring a smile to her face. The shirt probably belongs to her sister, but inevitably it’ll end up in Violet’s closet for months before she actually returns it.

Violet walks out, the bath towel around her neck to keep her shirt from getting wet. Her sister is waiting for her in the kitchen with a mug of tea. They sit at the dinner table together in silence. Violet occasionally takes sips from her tea and feels the way the hot liquid warms her inside. 

“Is Jaehyun still in the US?” Violet asks.

“Yes, he’s coming back tomorrow night. I’ve missed him even though this business trip only lasted a week.”

That’s what love does, Violet thinks to herself. Her sister and Jaehyun had been married for 3 years already. She remembers the summer wedding and how Rose was practically glowing from happiness the whole night. It was like a fairytale wedding, and Violet wished on every star that she could have the same someday.

Doyoungcould’ve given you that if you hadn’t run away like you always do.

“Violet, what happened? Why were you crying and soaked from the storm?” Her sister asks.

She feels the tears come back again, Rose notices and brings her in for a hug. 

“It’s...Doyoung...”

“Did he hurt you? Do I have to call Jaehyun?”

Violet shakes her head, “no...he didn’t hurt me but I know that I probably hurt him. He’s never going to want to see me again.”

Rose squeezes her tighter and rubs Violet’s back, “I’m sure that’s not true, he adores you.”

“You don’t understand...”

“Then help me understand, I have all night.”

* * *

It was at her twin sisters wedding when they met.

Violet had gotten out of a terrible relationship for the fifth time 6 months prior, and was definitely not looking to fall back into another relationship anytime soon. 

Her sister knew that, Jaehyun knew that, yet they still had the audacity to bring Kim Doyoung into her life to mess her plans all up. Even though he was introduced to her as her new secretary at Jaehyun’s office, Violet knew better. Her sister and her husband were partners in crime when it came to finding someone for Violet to possibly date.

Violet wanted to smack Jaehyun for hiring someone that was 100% the type of guy she liked. Doyoung was tall and handsome and his voice was nice to listen to. He looked really good in the suit he was wearing and his gummy smile was making its way through the tough walls Violet had built around her heart.

Doyoung was to begin working at the office the week after the wedding. According to Jaehyun, they had been close friends since college and he was relocated to work in Korea after spending a few years in the US. Doyoung was very polite when they were introduced to each other and told Violet that she looked beautiful. She almost fell for his charms that night.

Almost.

* * *

Working with Kim Doyoung was...not what Violet expected. The polite and soft spoken man she met at the wedding pulled a complete 180 once he was in the office.

Violet had insisted for months that she was fine doing the work on her own, the last secretary had been quit to move across the country and Violet had managed just fine. So when Jaehyun had sprung this up on her she couldn’t say she was that excited.

They bickered the first few weeks. If it wasn’t completely silent they were bickering over whose method of organizing calls and emails was best.

“Doyoung! Why did you completely rearrange the documents? I had them organized alphabetically and it was working just fine!” 

“Don’t you think it’ll be easier if they’re organized by department? So you don’t have to sift through the whole list and you can even find multiple documents at once with my method.” 

Violet sighed and set her head against her desk, every day it was just Doyoung coming in and mixing up everything that she had been comfortable with for months. Okay, maybe his method did work a bit faster but still! He could’ve at least told her he was going to reorganize things first!

“Fine! Just, next time you plan on doing this at least ask me if it’s okay first?”

Doyoung responds, “if I did that you would still be spending way too much time looking through documents and not giving yourself enough time to eat a proper lunch. Don’t think I haven’t noticed.”

“What I do during my lunch break shouldn’t concern you Doyoung.”

“It does concern me when I see how shaky you get by 3 PM because all you had for lunch was half a sandwich and 4 mugs of coffee. You can’t keep doing this everyday you’re going to hurt yourself.”

Violet stays silent for a few moments. Doyoung is looking at her with worry in his eyes now and she looks away. Not wanting to show him how vulnerable she was feeling in that moment.

“Okay, I’m sorry for blowing up on you. If you’re going to rearrange things or do anything like this please at least give me a heads up? I’d prefer to know before I look at my documents and see them in a completely different order than I left them in.”

Doyoung nods, “it’s okay Violet, I probably should’ve warned you as well. I promise to let you know in advance of any changes made...if you promise me to take better care of yourself.”

“Doyoung...”

“If you don’t then I guess you’ll have to look forward to a lot of surprises!”

Violet glares at Doyoung, who simply laughs and tries to cover his face.

“God, I can’t fucking stand you sometimes,” Violet sighs.

“But you’re sitting down right now?”

A pen is thrown across the room and hits Doyoung in the shoulder. He pretends to play dead for a few minutes before Violet tells him to knock it off and to get ready for their meeting in twenty minutes.

After that day, Violet drops by her sister’s house for a visit. Rose always knew how to cure her terrible mood with homemade cookies and tea.

“I just don’t get it Rose! He comes in and just messes up my whole routine! Who does he even think he is!”

Violet sets a plate of cookies down in front of her and sits down beside her. They’re both in the backyard, Rose’s large collection of house plants surround them and they can hear the neighbors kids playing in the backyard.

“He’s there to help you Violet, just because his methods are different than yours doesn’t mean that they don’t help you out, right?”

Violet sighs, “I don’t want to admit it because it’ll hurt my ego but maybe he is right about some things. Maybe his organization skills are better than mine but I’d rather die than admit it to his face.”

“What’s so bad about admitting it though?” Rose takes a cookie and starts nibbling at the corners.

“I don’t know, he could use it against me and never let me live it down. Or, he could go on a power trip and just completely dismantle the whole order of my office!”

“Violet, eat a cookie and calm down. I haven’t know Doyoung for that long but I don’t think he would pull a move like that. I don’t think Jaehyun would make him work with you if he knew it wouldn’t work out.”

She angrily stuffs a cookie in her mouth and lets the chocolate chips calm her rage. Her sister was so good at baking it was practically a crime that she hadn’t opened up her own bakery.

“Rose, how do I stop feeling like I want to throw a stapler at him anytime he fixes something?” Violet asks.

“Well,” Rose takes her hand, “you can maybe start putting a little more trust in him. Don’t be so on the defensive side and maybe try to understand each other more. I’m sure that his intentions are good, just misunderstood.”

“Well he did promise to at least give me a heads up on any future changes as long as I try to lower my coffee intake and eat a decent lunch.”

Rose gasps, “He really said that?”

“Yeah, the audacity of this man I’m telling you.”

“It’s kind of sweet though, he’s looking out for you and you’re over here complaining! So many people would do anything to have someone like him in their lives.”

Violet takes another cookie, “you think so?”

“I know so, you need to stop fighting him before you lose him! He sounds great and you should appreciate his efforts more.”

Don’t I know about pushing people out Violet thinks to herself. As she and her sister finish up the cookies, Violet thinks that maybe, just maybe she’ll try and let Doyoung into her little bubble. Maybe Rose was right about him.

The next day, Violet goes into work and finds a note on her desk. 

Violet, I’m sorry that the last few weeks have been less than ideal for you. I know you don’t need someone to help you out but we’re both now in this situation so we might as well accept that and try and work together. I don’t want us to fight anymore, I want us to at least have a healthy and civil relationship as coworkers.

Also, you have a meeting at 3 PM and Seulgi wants to see you as soon as possible.

(This is a warning that tomorrow I’m going to replace all your pens with new ones. You need it.)

Violet looks up from the note and sees Doyoung already looking for her reaction.

She sets the note down and walks towards him. Violet holds out her and waits for Doyoung to take it.

“I don’t want to fight anymore either. Let’s call a truce and try to work better together. And if you’re going to buy new pens, I don’t like ballpoint. Also, they have to be black ink only,” Violet says.

Doyoung nods, “I think I can manage that. Good to know that we have the same taste in pens.”

* * *

Violet finds herself slammed with paperwork and low on energy, after 2 mugs of coffee the caffeine still wasn’t enough to keep her eyes from drooping.

“Doyoung, I’m kind of busy right now can you get me some coffee from the Starbucks down the street? I’ll give you some extra money to get yourself something to for having to go over there.” 

“Of course I can, it’s been a slow day today for me and it’s not rush hour so I won’t be too long.”

“You’re a life saver!” Violets says.

It was over a year now that Doyoung started working with her, and they had gradually become close friends with each other. It was a bit rough at first, the both of them not really communicating well and leading to constant arguments. However, they managed to work out all their issues and now Violet couldn’t imagine working without Doyoung by her side.

Not only did they see each other at work, but many times they would hang out with jaehyun and her sister Rose in their backyard with their other friends. They loved to host barbecues and parties for their close friends and they had a nice big yard for it. Some of their friends would even bring their dogs and they all played with them until they grew tired and fell asleep under all the fruit trees Rose had.

Violet wouldn’t say that Doyoung was her best friend, but he was definitely close. After their truce, the both of them have definitely improved their work performance. They had spend many nights working late on projects at the office, many nights sharing details about each other’s lives. She found out that Doyoung was the reason Jaehyun had asked out her sister in the first place. He told her the story of how Jaehyun had planned the perfect way to ask Rose to be his girlfriend for weeks. Doyoung had the eventually step in and tell him that the time was never going to be perfect, and that if Rose loved him it wouldn’t matter. All that would matter is that he expressed all his feelings sincerely and the rest would follow.

She had thanked Doyoung for pushing Jaehyun to finally make his move. Her sister was always so happy every day and her instagram was filled with pictures of the two of them. Sometimes they wore coordinating outfits, sometimes the pictures were of them working on their garden, but Violet’s personal favorites were the pictures where Jaehyun was looking at Rose like she was his entire world.

When Violet opened up to Doyoung about all her shitty relationships, she didn’t expect herself to cry so much. He had just told her about how he didn’t really date anyone because he was so busy, and Violet had told him that he was lucky. She then spilled about her failed relationships and when she got to her last ex that had cheated on her, all the negative feelings that Violet had thought she had forgotten about came to the surface again. The feelings of betrayal, sadness, and inadequacy made her choke up and cry right in front of Doyoung while they had just finished sorting through files that night.

That night, Doyoung had hugged her. He told Violet that she was more than good enough, that her ex was selfish and didn’t know how to handle such a good thing in his life. He hugged Violet as she cried and rubbed her back when her sobs quieted to a sniffle. This happened a few weeks ago and it was what brought them even closer. 

_You deserve so much more than you let yourself have Violet. We are all worthy of love, and you especially deserve someone who makes you forget all those bad people that have hurt you in the past._

That was what Doyoung had said to her as he held her. His voice was soft and sincere, and it made Violet feel so much better in the moment.

She was brought out of her thoughts by Doyoung coming in with two white coffee cups in his hand. 

“I’m back! I told you I wouldn’t take long!” He said cheerfully.

“Thank god because I really need something to get me through the rest of today.”

Violet took the cup that Doyoung handed to her and took a huge sip. 

This doesn’t taste like coffee.

She swallowed down the green tea and looked at Doyoung who was acting too nonchalant about this.

“Doyoung. I told you to get me my coffee. Why is there green tea in this cup?”

“You’ve already had 2 mugs of coffee. So I got you tea instead. Your body will thank me later when you don’t feel like shit.”

Violet whines and looks at her tea with sadness. 

“I got you sugar and milk to go with the tea.”

It wasn’t coffee, but milk tea would do for now.

“Hand it over, I’m going to need it to help this go down.”

* * *

“I’m so ready for this monthly bar party, I need about 5 shots of vodka after dealing with all those cranky people this month.” Doyoung groans.

It was getting close to the end of the year, and by now it was almost 3 years since Doyoung came into Violet’s life.

“You’re telling me, when you transferred them to me they were practically screaming and got even angrier when I told them the same exact thing you had!”

For some reason, any person that called Violet’s phone that day was in a terrible mood. Her patience had been running thin the last few callers and if it wasn’t for the promise of drinks later she would’ve most likely snapped on them. 

“I’m going to get so shit faced, I don’t care that I have work tomorrow I’m getting shit faced,” Violet says.

“I guess it’s my turn to baby sit, since you had to keep me from drinking more last time. I would’ve probably had the worst hangover in my life if it weren’t for you.”

“Just don’t let me have fruity drinks, those are my kryptonite and I can down so many of those without even thinking of the consequences because they taste like Capri-suns.”

The phone started ringing again and the both of them looked at each other with dread. Doyoung slams his head on his desk and loudly fake sobs. 

“Just one more hour, and we can drown today in alcohol,” Doyoung says in between his fake crying.

Once the clock hit 5, Violet practically jumped out of her office desk. Finally, the day had finished and they would be able to go to the bar for a few hours and relax.

“You’re still okay with being the DND? I’ll give you gas money for taking me I know we don’t really live too close to each other...”

Doyoung shakes his head, “no, don’t pay me anything it’s fine! If you try and send me money through my payal I’ll just send you the money back so don’t even try!”

“But Doie! I feel really bad not paying you!” Violet whines.

“Don’t use that nickname with me I’m still not accepting any money! Just knowing you got home safe is enough payment for me.”

Violet no longer tries to argue, and Doyoung looks satisfied with himself for having the final straw. She’ll get him one way or another, maybe by buying the first round of drinks for him so she feels that she lessened the burden on him at least a little.

The plan for the night was to go right after work, they would all slowly meet each other there and stay for as long as they wanted to. It was the same plan they had pretty much every month they did this, except the would switch around the places they went to so that it felt like a new experience every time. 

The last place they went to was a club and Violet giggles to herself when she remembers how rowdy Doyoung got after drinking too much. She still has videos on her phone of him dancing and every now and then she would send them to Doyoung while he was working and he would turn around and glare at her with a full blush on his face. 

“Let me just find my keys so we can go Violet, are you good to go?”

She nods, “yep! My phone is fully charged and everything too! I’m ready to take so many pics for Instagram later.”

“You mean you’re ready for me to be your photographer for the night?” Doyoung teases.

“I can’t help it when you know how to take the best pictures! You literally always make me look so nice I have no idea how you do it!”

“Violet, you always look nice no matter if I take your pictures or not. You don’t give yourself enough credit.”

“Hmmm...sounds fake but okay! Anyways we should go soon I wanna beat Jaehyun and Taeil!”

Violet gathers her things and makes her way out of the office. Doyoung says behind to completely shut down his computer and he sighs.

_You’re so beautiful yet you don’t let yourself accept it..._

* * *

It’s 7 PM, and Violet is a little bit more than just tipsy. It would’ve probably been worse if Doyoung wasn’t right next to her telling her to drink more water and eat food to sober her up. He had only had a few drinks himself in the beginning and was now remaining sober for the night since he had to drive Violet home eventually. 

Doyoung was a bit peeved when Violet snuck her card over to pay for the first round, he should’ve expected his friend to pull something like this. However, it was always hard to stay mad at Violet when she smiled at him. 

The rest of their coworkers had dispersed across the bar, Jaehyun had to go outside and answer the phone because Rose was calling. Knowing her sister, it was probably to tell Jaehyun about how well her succulents were doing despite it being the beginning of December. He never missed a call from his wife and Violet found that adorable about them.

Taeil had left a bit earlier than usual, he was craving fast food and his boyfriends Yuta and Sicheng decided that they wouldn’t mind some McDonald’s either. They offered to take them along as well but Violet wasn’t quite done drinking yet and Doyoung was not willing to leave her side.

“Doie...please let me have another drink” Violet groans.

“You Can have coke or sprite.”

“Boo, if the coke isn’t mixed with anything then I don’t want it!”

At that moment Jaehyun returns to their table with a smile on his face.

“Sorry guys, Rose called and I had to take it you know?”

Violet nods, “did she tell you about her succulents?”

“Yeah, she wanted help naming one of her newest ones which is why she called me.”

“She sent me a Snapchat earlier of her garden. I wish I could take care of plants enough to make them look as pretty as hers.”

The three of them continue chatting, Doyoung eventually gives in and orders Violet one last drink before she’s officially cut off for the rest of the night. Everything was going perfectly, almost...too perfectly.

Usually there was always something that would either go wrong or make for a funny story later when they went on their monthly bar trips. Last month it was Doyoung slut dropping on the dance floor, and the month before it was Irene, one of the other secretaries, that nearly got into a fight because some drunk asshole wouldn’t leave her and her girlfriend alone.

Violet had just downed her drink when she felt a tap on her shoulder. When she turns around, she nearly feels the alcohol come back up.

“Hi Violet, long time no see!” It was her ex. The one that Violet had last spoken to 3 years ago that cheated on her for weeks before she walked into his apartment with her copy of the key and found him with another woman on the living room couch.

“Mark, why are you here.” Violet responds in a tight voice.

She doesn’t notice it quite yet but Doyoung is looking at her with concern and his mind is quickly putting two and two together. When he heard the name Mark slip out of her mouth he immediately knew that this was the ex that Violet mentioned. 

“I’m here with my fiancé actually, he’s somewhere with his friends right now we came to celebrate our engagement.” He answers.

Engaged?! He actually found someone that was willing to marry him?!

“How hard was it to find someone that was willing to be with a cheater like you?”

Right now the alcohol was talking and Violet couldn’t find herself to care about how harsh she was being. She could worry about that later when she was sober. Mark’s face falls and she feels Doyoung reach for her arm to calm her. He had remained quiet but Violet knew he wouldn’t hesitate to step in if things got too out of hand.

“Look...Violet I know I really fucked up things between us but it’s been 3 years now. I’ve changed and become a better person now. You probably think I’m full of shit but it’s the truth, I worked on myself a lot and now I have a wedding coming up in the spring.”

She felt like she was underwater, too many thoughts were swimming around in her head and Violet saw her vision slowly get blurry with tears.

“Mark, congrats on your engagement but I really don’t want to see your face for another second. Please just...go back to wherever you came from and leave me alone.”

“Violet, I’ll leave you be but please know that I’m truly sorry for what I did. I don’t think I’ll ever stop apologizing for it but I promise that I’ve become a better person.”

When he leaves, Violet looks at Doyoung and grabs for his hand, “Doie I want to go home. I don’t want to be here anymore.”

“Okay Violet,” he squeezes her hand, “let me just pay for these drinks and we’ll leave.”

In the car, Violet is silent. She doesn’t want to speak because she knows that the minute she opens her mouth that’s when the waterworks will start. Doyoung keeps checking on her during red lights to make sure she’s okay, Violet notices that he’s doing his best not to drive too fast so her head doesn’t spin from the alcohol.

They arrive at the apartment complex Violet lives in and she gives him the code so that Doyoung can park his car. 

The walk to her front door is silent. Even in the elevator, Doyoung tries asking her if she’s okay again and she doesn’t respond. Violet only looks at him and he can see the inner turmoil she’s going through. Her eyes say it all with how they’re swimming in tears Violet has held back since they were at the bar.

When they get to Violet’s front door, that’s when she finally speaks.

“Doyoung...if it’s not too much trouble could you like, stay with me for a bit? I don’t want to be alone right now,” violet asks in a quiet voice. She looks up at her friend and sees the way he softly smiles at her.

“Of course I’ll stay. As long as you want me, to I’ll be here for you.”

Once their inside of Violet’s apartment, she excuses herself for a bit to change out of her work clothes. Right now all Violet wanted was to be in her favorite pair of sweats and a loose shirt instead of their usual business attire clothing. Doyoung took a seat on her couch and scrolled through his phone, waiting for her to come back.

When violet came back, Doyoung had already turned on the TV and was surfing through the channels. He was sitting crossed legged on the couch and he looked like a little kid with the way his big eyes were looking at the TV. She sits herself next to him and pulls a pillow in to hug it against her chest. 

“What do you want to watch? There’s some good movies playing right now,” Doyoung asks her.

“Just choose anything, I can’t really think of a preference right now.”

Doyoung changes the channel a few times and decides on a action movie. Violet tries to focus on the plot but her concentration wavers as her mind starts thinking about her encounter with Mark. Doyoung notices halfway through the movie that Violet isn’t paying attention at all so he shuts the TV off and turns to face her.

Violet asks,“Why did you turn it off?”

“Be honest, you had no idea what was going on in the movie right?”

Violet tries to lie but Doyoung raises a brow and she can’t pull through with it. She shakes her head and brings her hands up to rub at her eyes.

“Do you want to talk about what’s on your mind? You know I’m always here for you.” 

“Are you sure? I don’t want to keep you here I know you live far...”

Doyoung reaches for her hand and squeezes, “I don’t care how long it takes, I’m not going to leave until you tell me to or until I know that you’re feeling better.”

Violet feels herself tearing up all over again and this time, she lets all her tears flow. She can’t really talk much at first, it’s a lot of hiccuping and crying that prevents her from being able to form words without feeling like she’s drowning. Doyoung does his best to soothe her and get her breathing back to normal. 

“It’s just...I feel so pathetic, you know? I’m not even angry at Mark I’m more angry at myself right now.”

“Why is that?” Doyoung asks.

“Because...because all this time I’ve been beating myself up about him cheating on me and having terrible trust issues and all these other problems that have kept me from seeing someone new and here he is now engaged to marry someone. I feel like I’m pathetic for wasting my own time and ruining my own life for the past 3 years. I have no one to blame but myself, Mark moved on and made his life happier and became a better person and here I am still in the same spot I was when we broke up without doing anything to improve myself.”

“Violet...you know-”

“But it is true though! I did this all myself it’s all my fault Doyoung!” Violet yells in between her sobs.

Doyoung is silent for a minute, looking a bit hesitant to say anything more. Violet is wiping her tears away and removing her makeup in the process. She probably looked like a hot mess but at least it would match with the way she was feeling inside. 

“Okay, you may have done this to yourself. Lets go with the chance that you’re completely right about this. These past 3 years you have been isolating yourself from trusting someone new and now that you’ve realized that you caused your own pain you need to, not to be rude or anything, get your shit together.”

Violet looks at Doyoung with confusion and a bit of anger.

“You can be mad at me all you want, but you need to know that if you continue this cycle this same type of resentment to yourself isn’t going to stop. You can either continue to look into the past and feel angry with yourself about all the time you wasted while simultaneously continuing to waste your time, or you can accept things for what they are now and start letting yourself be happy and take control of your life again. No one is going to come in and magically fix your life for you, you need to want to change this pattern going on in your life.”

There’s silence, and then there’s

“Doyoung, I hate you.”

“I know. If I was in your position I would hate me too.”

They both look at each other for a few moments, Doyoung can see the tears already welling up in Violets eyes again and he just simply opens his arms up. Violet brings a hand to her face and moves closer to Doyoung so she can accept his hug.

There’s a lot more crying now, Doyoung rubs his friends back as her body shakes with all the sobs she’s letting out. Even when Violet had told him about her terrible relationship history, she hadn’t cried this hard back then. 

It was almost like a catharsis for Violet, in that moment she was able to realize that she never lost control. She always had control over her life and the universe wasn’t just fucking her over. Violet had the power to make her life better for herself and her lack of action was the reason why she felt like the universe was out to get her. She had to take the initiative herself to stir the peace a bit, a little discomfort would bring her the happiness that she craved for.

Risks needed to be taken in order for Violet to be able to get to where she wanted to be in life. The three years of her just observing her life take its course had done nothing but made her feel comfortable with the dissatisfaction she was feeling. 

After Violet’s sobs had reduced to occasional hiccups and a lot of sniffling, she spoke again.

“Never mind, I don’t hate you anymore.”

Although her voice was muffled by Doyoung’s sweater, she could feel the way his body shook as he laughed.

“Even if you still did I wouldn’t mind. I know that you would come around eventually. I wasn’t harsh with you to be mean I just knew that you needed a reality check right now. We all need someone that comforts us and who also calls us out on our bullshit.”

“I’m glad I have someone like you in my life Doyoung. You’re literally my best friend, don’t tell Rose I said that or she’ll get jealous.”

Doyoung laughs, “don’t worry I won’t tell her!”

“Honestly Doyoung, you’re such a good person I don’t believe it that you’re not dating someone yet. You’re a total catch dude!”

“Well...I don’t know...”

Violet sits up, “did you not notice the way that new intern was looking at you the other day? He totally has a crush on you! You should go for it unless you already have someone else you’re interested.”

“Well you could say that I guess,” he pauses. “But I don’t think they’re interested in me and I’m honestly fine with just admiring them from afar. Just seeing them happy makes me happy.”

“Doyoung...you’re way too good for this world. Whoever that person is that you like is so lucky.”

Doyoung sighs and looks at Violet, “Yeah, I guess if you think so.”

* * *

It’s been a few weeks since that night, Christmas was coming up on the weekend and everyone in the office was excited and being as festive as possible. There was a little contest being held for who could decorate their desks the best and the prize was an expensive bottle of wine and gift cards to whatever restaurant they wanted. 

So obviously everyone was highly motivated to win, you make alcohol and free food the prize and suddenly everyone is fighting tooth and nail to win. 

There was a price limit to decorations however, it all depended and everyone’s creativity to use the cheapest resources they would. If they went over 50 dollars they were immediately out. 

Doyoung and Violet were determined to win. They had even made a pact to split the prize with each other if either of them won. 

While their coworkers were stumped on what to do, the two friends raided the dollar store for any kinds of decorations they could find. They even bought colorful pieces of paper and glitter to make their own if necessary.

Shopping together was always fun, they got a bit too enthusiastic in the store and received a warning from the annoyed teenager running the cash register that they would be asked to leave if they couldn’t keep it down. 

“I mean if we end up losing, we can just go somewhere else. Sometimes McDonald’s hits different when you’re sad about losing a contest.”

Violet gasps, “Don’t talk like that! It’s barely been a day there’s no time for loser talk! We’re so going to win this competition I won’t let us lose!”

“Okay okay, no more loser talk. Should we buy anything else?”

They both looked at their shopping cart. They were nowhere near their price limit yet they already had so many things they could use for decorations. 

“What if...we bought Christmas lights...”

Doyoung frowned, “But I thought Jaehyun said no lights?”

“Jaehyun said nothing that had to be plugged into an outlet,” violet picked up a box of lights, “but these ones are powered with batteries so...technically they’re allowed.”

They both smirk at each other, “I like the way you think Violet.”

“What would you do without me Doyoung? We’re the best team in the office and everyone knows it!”

Throughout the week, Doyoung visits Violet after work so that they can put together all their decorations. Specifically, the ones they have to make themselves.

They were in Violet’s kitchen preparing the glitter for the handmade ornaments they cut out of paper. They also had bought some plain looking ornaments and customized them with glitter and rhinestones in order for them to stand out more.

Violet had opened up on of the loose glitters that they bought, a nice silver color, and had already dumped a bit of it over the glue they applied on their ornaments. She wanted to get as many colors that she could on them without making them look like the spirit of Christmas threw up on them.

Although she tried her best to not make a mess, inevitably some glitter got all over her clothes and her hands. Anywhere Violet touched would be marked with glitter and it was turning into a nightmare. 

Violet turned to look at Doyoung, who was carefully placing the rhinestones on some of the ornaments. She then looked at her hands covered in glitter and decided that Doyoung could use some too.

She walks up to him and says, “Doyoung look at this!”

Once Doyoung looks up, Violet proceeds to drag her glitter covered fingers down his face. Doyoung scrunches his face up as his cheeks, nose, and his lips are now covered in craft glitter.

“Violet!” He yells. Violet laughs and makes a run for it to the other end of the kitchen. 

Doyoung gets some glitter of his own and catches up to her, grabbing her by the arm and sprinkling glitter in her hair. 

Violet shrieks and gets Doyoung into a headlock, “you asshole! That’s never gonna come out!”

“It’s never going to come off of my face either!”

“Well why didn’t you just go for my face instead of my hair!”

“Because I didn’t want to mess up your makeup, I know you spend a lot of time on it so I knew that would upset you!”

Violet stops yelling and lets go of Doyoung. 

“Did I ever tell you that you were way too good for this world?” Violet asks.

Doyoung smiles, “I think you may have once or twice.”

* * *

To everyone’s surprise but Violet’s, one of them actually ends up winning. 

Although Violet ended up getting points docked for the lights, Jaehyun did not appreciate her attempt at a loophole, Doyoung ended up winning and they both smiled at each other because they knew they were going to eat so good the next night.

The next day they were cleaning up their desks, the competition was over and tomorrow was Christmas Eve so they would have the holidays off. Neither of them wanted to come back from their 2 day break and get right to cleaning so they decided to do it all today. 

Doyoung and Violet had exchanged gifts that day, although they both told each other not to buy anything they both ended up showing up with present boxes. Violet had her gift ready for weeks and it was so hard keeping quiet about it. Doyoung had been wanting a weighted blanket and a new coffee machine for months, and while Violet only had the weighted blanket with her, she was excited for the coffee machine to come in the mail after the holidays.

When Violet had opened her gift from Doyoung she burst into laughter. Inside the box was a slightly smaller box, and Violet kept opening all these boxes with little notes of encouragement until finally the last envelope was broken and there was a 200 dollar gift card from Sephora inside.

“I tried asking your sister for specific stuff you might want but almost all the stuff was sold out so I decided to get the next best thing. This isn’t all though, I’ll drop off the other things tomorrow,” he told her. 

Violet felt herself get teary eyed, “Doie this is already so much you really didn’t have to!”

“You’re right, I didn’t have to. But I really wanted to because I value you that much.” 

“You really are too good to me Doyoung...”

“It’s what you deserve though.”

Violet hadn’t said anything after that, not because she didn’t want to but because Taeil had walked in and asked for pictures with them.

There were many things that she wanted say, that Doyoung was just bluffing, that he was just being a good friend. However, Violet knew that Doyoung would continue to press on and wouldn’t give up without a fight. 

Lately, whenever Doyoung would catch her off guard with one of his meaningful compliments, Violet found it harder to hold back to urge to hug him. Something about the way she knew he meant every word he said made Violet want to squeeze him so tight he started giggling the way he always did.

Violet tried justifying it to herself that it was all because he was her best friend and she just loved him so much, platonically of course. It wasn’t like she was thinking of kissing him, although...the idea wasn’t so bad...

The minute her mind would wander in that direction, Violet would snap herself out of it and try to distract herself. She couldn’t be having thoughts like this about her best friend, it just wasn’t right. 

The thoughts came back again while they were cleaning their desks. Doyoung was removing the tape holding their paper decorations up and Violet found herself staring at the way he delicately peeled the tape off so it wouldn’t ruin or tear the paper.

Doyoung was always so delicate with everything that he did. Whether it was dealing with emotions, cooking, or making craft projects; Doyoung always made sure that every detail was given attention to. Even when they made a mess with the glitter, someone Doyoung seemed to make less of a mess with the way he applied the glitter with a gentle hand.

Watching him now slowly pick at and peel away the tape just reminded Violet of all the little quirks Doyoung had that she admired. Although he was a bit soft and didn’t like to act so hastily, if you ever even made any of his friends sad or hurt his family he would be out for blood.

Violet began to think, was Doyoung also this gentle when he kissed? Would he be really shy and need some coaxing? Would his lips feel just as soft as his voice sounded like?

She was snapped out of her thoughts when Doyoung stuck a piece of tape to her forehead. Or at least tried to, the tape had lost a bit of its stickiness from being peeled off the side of the desk and it got caught in her bangs more than anything.

Violet got the tape out of her hair and retaliated by sticking it to Doyoung’s arm. “What was that for?” She asked.

“You zoned out for a few minutes and I tried asking for the staple remover and you were too in your own zone to hear me.”

“You couldn’t just get my attention like a normal person?”

“What’s the fun in that though?”

Violet rolls her eyes playfully and opens up the drawer that she knows the staple remover is in. As she digs through the drawer she uncovers an envelope that is deep red with letters written on it in gold ink. When she reads exactly what’s written on it, however, she feels chills run down her skin.

“To Violet, with all my love...”

Whatever was inside the envelope was meant for her and she had just discovered something that she shouldn’t have. Violet immediately recognizes the handwriting as Doyoung’s and she quickly grabs the staple remover before he notices that she’s been quiet for too long.

They spend the rest of the afternoon cleaning up their desks. Doyoung chats quite a bit and Violet tries not to act suspicious but she knows she isn’t hiding anything with the way that she’s responding so slowly and awkwardly at times. She hopes that at their dinner tonight she’s able to get her shit together or else it’ll be a very painful hour or so that they’ll spend alone.

Surely Doyoung meant “love” in a platonic sense right? There’s no way he felt any romantic feelings for her, right? They were best friends and nothing more.

Although Violet was telling herself these things to ease her panicked thoughts, they ended up making her feel even more upset. Why did the thought of being just friends with Doyoung make her feel like she had a huge pit in her stomach? Why did it hurt so bad to be reminded of that fact that Doyoung probably doesn’t feel romantic love for her and already has a crush on someone else? She should be happy for her best friend! Instead she’s being the worst person in the planet by thinking about who it could possibly be that Doyoung has his eyes set on and why Violet didn’t make the cut.

They finish cleaning up before they have to clock out and Violet feels like it’s been the longest day of her life. Doyoung is jittery and excited to have their fancy dinner and seeing the way her friend is so excited for food makes Violet feel a bit better. Maybe she could actually function tonight without thinking about how it wouldn’t be such a bad idea if them going to dinner together ended up being a date.

* * *

After a 45 minute wait time, they were finally in a small booth in the corner of one of the busiest restaurants in their city. They felt thankful that they didn’t have to wait longer for a table as they were already pretty hungry. 

They start off with some wine and start with an appetizer recommended by the server. The way each meal is described in the menu makes Violet want to order everything and stuff herself until she’s sick.

“How am I supposed to pick one thing I want to eat when everything looks so good!” Violet whines.

“I’m in the same boat, the pastas looks so good but I also deserve to eat a nice gourmet looking burger you know?”

“What if...” Violet starts.

“Are you about to suggest that we share food, because if you are then I’m in.”

“We can both share a pasta and get something else that we want, it’s a win-win situation that doesn’t end up with the both of us eating so much we feel sick!”

When the server comes by again they put in their orders and patiently wait. The bottle of wine is almost gone between the two of them and although Violet has a higher tolerance for alcohol, she can already see the way Doyoung’s face is getting flushed. If she finds it adorable she doesn’t say and maybe tries to suppress that thought deep in her mind.

“Anyways, why were you being so weird today? Did you get enough sleep last night?” Doyoung asks.

“Don’t worry about it, I’m just excited for Christmas you know! Rose always makes this really good cake and invites me over to share it with her and Jaehyun. I’m way too excited about this cake to be able to think properly.”

Okay, maybe that wasn’t entirely a lie, but in his nearly tipsy state Doyoung buys it and giggles. Violet serves herself the last bit of wine left so that Doyoung doesn’t get any more intoxicated.

When their food arrives, Violet can already hear her stomach growling for it to be fed. Doyoung has major heart eyes for his burger and he’s practically drooling at this point. The server says a few things to them and Violet can’t help but notice the way their eyes linger on Doyoung. Her friend doesn’t notice the extra attention he’s being given but Violet can see the way the server is trying to hold back from looking at him too much. Violet knows what that’s like. She’s been having the same conflict with Doyoung too. It’s hard to not look at him for a few seconds more, her friend was handsome and adorable and every other positive adjective in the world. 

When the server leaves, Violet brings it up.

“Yo, did you see the way the server was looking at you? They totally have a crush!” Violet teases.

Doyoung looks up from his food and furrows his brow, “What do you mean? They weren’t looking at me.”

“They so were! You were just too busy looking at your food to notice! They’re not bad looking either, what if you left your number for them at the end of the night.”

Doyoung laughs, “I highly doubt they would even bother, I don’t think they’re interested in me like that they probably recognized me from somewhere and were trying to figure out where from.”

“Hm...I don’t think so but whatever helps you sleep at night. Why don’t you try hitting on them when they come by?”

Violet notices the way Doyoung doesn’t quite smile as wide with that suggestion and decides to pull back on the teasing.

“I told you I already had someone I liked. I’m not really interested in anyone else,” he says quietly.

“But Doie! You aren’t even going to try and pursue them, at this point you’re going to be alone forever.”

“Well maybe I changed my mind about never pursuing them...”

Violet ignores the sharp pinch in her chest, “no way! You’re actually going to go for it? They’re so lucky, I just know you’ll treat them right.”

Doyoung nods and doesn’t respond. Violet drops the conversation and focuses on the food in front of them. She’ll apologize later for teasing him too much.

To both of their surprises, they actually finish everything and even have room for dessert. The server continues to check on them and Violet notices that their table gets a few more visits than the others. Not only that, they also still can’t help but focus more on Doyoung than on her.

Violet tells Doyoung to pay more attention to the server so that they can see for themselves, and even after witnessing it they still choose to be in denial.

They’re halfway through their dessert when Violet chooses to apologize for the teasing. 

“I’m sorry for bugging you too much about it. I didn’t realize it was such a sore spot I promise I won’t do it again. I just really want to see you happy Doyoung.”

Doyoung sighs, “I am happy Violet. Like I said, as long as I get to see the person I like happy then that’s all that matters.”

“What made you change your mind about not pursuing them? If you don’t mind telling me.”

Violet waits for the answer that she knows is going to sting a bit. Doyoung takes his time putting together his answer and it does nothing to relieve Violet of the nervous feeling she has in her stomach.

“Although I’m happy being close to them and seeing them happy, it’s getting to that point where it doesn’t feel like enough anymore. I cant get rid of the thought in my head telling me that I can’t just be friends with them anymore. I figured if maybe I tried seeing if I had a chance with them then maybe it would help with the way I’m feeling inside. If I get rejected for good then I know that I need to move on, but there’s a part of me hoping that maybe we both get to be happy together.”

Violet smiles, “Doyoung, I don’t know who this person is but as long as your genuine in your confession I’m sure that everything will be fine! Honestly you’re so much of a catch I have high hopes that they won’t reject you. You’d make the perfect boyfriend, and I can say that confidently because of how nice you are with me and the other people close to you.”

“I guess that does make me feel a bit better, I was thinking of actually confessing in a few days but maybe I’ll do it now.”

Violet is a bit confused, what does he mean by now? Is he going to do it over the phone? He should do it in person not over a phone call! Unless the person is out of town then maybe that makes sense but...

“Are you going to call them? You should probably do it in person and not over the phone so it seems a bit more personal.”

Doyoung shakes his head, “no it’s okay, I don’t need to call them to confess to them.”

“Then what do you mean by saying you’ll do it now? I’m the only one here unless you saw them when we came in or something.”

Her friend stays quiet and he just stares at her.

“Violet...how long is it going to take for you to connect the dots.”

“What do you mean? What is there to connect?”

Doyoung sighs and runs a hand through his hair, “I mean that the reason I don’t need to make a phone call to confess to the person I like is because it would be really silly to call someone who was sitting right in front of me.”

Violet looks at Doyoung and feels her heart stop. She laughs nervously in her confusion of not knowing how to process this information.

“Doyoung...what do you mean...I-”

“I mean that you are the one I’ve liked for all this time. I don’t remember an exact moment when it happened, but I realized it on that night that you told me about your past. When I saw you crying over all the people that treated you badly, it made me want to treat you so well that it makes you forget about all those terrible people that have hurt you and taken advantage of your trust.”

Violet is silent and she feels her hands begin to shake.

“I thought that by being friends with you it would be enough, and I saw you always smiling and I knew that I was fulfilling that goal I set for myself. But then, it just felt like it wasn’t enough. I can’t just be your friend anymore Violet, I love you too much and if I have to see someone else sweep you off your feet I’ll support you no matter what but I’ll live with the regret of not even trying to see if that could’ve been me instead.”

It’s too much, it’s way too much for Violet to handle. She knows that Doyoung is being nothing but honest, but that ugly voice in her mind is coming back and telling her that it’s all lies. He’ll hurt her like everyone else.

“Doyoung...you don’t love me.”

“I do though, I’ve loved you for two years. I’m sure of my feelings and I promise you that they’re real.”

She feels tears begin to sting her eyes, “you can’t just say that! You can’t do this Doyoung, you can’t just come here and tell me you’re in love with me!”

“Why not? What’s so bad about being in love with you Violet?” Doyoung asks.

Violet begins to cry, “because it’s not true, that’s why it’s so bad. You’re so good to me and you’re my best friend and I keep thinking about what it feels like to kiss you and I felt like such a horrible person for it but you’re even worse for lying like this.”

Before Doyoung can respond, Violet collects her things and walks out. She walks out of the restaurant and down the street. Doyoung watches as she leaves and curses under his breath.

Violet catches a cab and just says the name of the street her sister lives on. The cab driver is a bit confused but follows through with her request nonetheless.

She didn’t want to be alone right now, and she knew that her sister would be home. Jaehyun had left to the US a few days ago for business and wouldn’t be back until the night of Christmas Eve. Rose was surely home right now and Violet just really needed to hug her sister and hear her voice.

* * *

“Oh honey, I can’t believe it took you this long to realize how in love with you he was.”

Violet had finished telling her sister what had happened, she was sniffling and her eyes hurt from crying so much. The tea was long gone and Violet just wanted to go to bed.

“What do you mean? Did he tell you before?”

Rose shook her head, “no, I don’t think he ever told anyone, not even Jaehyun. But he didn’t need to say anything for us to know how much he loved you. The way he would look at you during our barbecues when you would play with the dogs, it was enough to fully convince me that he loved you.”

Violet wanted to cry again, but even if she forced herself she couldn’t get any more tears out of her.

“I’m the worst person ever, he’s never going to want to talk to me again. How am I supposed to go to work knowing that he hates me now and doesn’t want to be my friend anymore.”

“Violet, I don’t think Doyoung could ever hate you. Like I said before, he adores you so much. Even if you didn’t want to be with him romantically I don’t think he would ever want to stop being your friend.”

“But that’s the thing, I do want to be with him. I want to be able to love him but everything’s just going to go to shit like always. He’s going to realize I’m not what he wants and leave or I’m just going to bore him to death. What if he cheats on me like Mark did?”

Rose sighs loudly and brings her forehead to the table. Violet watches as her sister groans in frustration and she’s about to snap at her when she sits back up again.

“Okay, I’ve tried to be nice but I see that nice isn’t going to get anything through your head. You don’t have to like Doyoung back but what you shouldn’t do right now is accuse him of hurting you like people have in the past. He’s not Joy, he’s not Taeyong, he’s not Johnny or Wendy and we both know damn well he’s never going to treat you like Mark did.”

Violet speaks up, “but what if-”

“Enough with these ‘what if’s’ Violet! You haven’t even given him a chance and you’re already thinking about all the ways this could go wrong. You’re ruining this before it can even start by assuming Doyoung’s feelings about you. I know that you like to have everything in control and you like to know that every little detail about your life is stable and secure, but this is one thing that you can’t do that to. You can’t pick and control Doyoung’s feelings to fit your agenda that everyone is going to hurt you and screw you over Violet!”

Rose looks at her sister who’s face is as white as a sheet.

“This method of protecting yourself is so wrong Violet. You can’t push him away and already sort him out into whatever way you think he’s going to screw you over just because you’re protecting yourself from the instability that love is sometimes.”

"it can't be wrong if it's worked for this long," Violet says weakly.

"Has it really worked though? Be honest with me and tell me that you don't actually believe that for yourself."

Violet doesn't respond and frowns in frustration. It all hurt too much because she knew that her sister was right. It hadn't worked. Yes, she felt comfortable knowing that each day would be just as predictable as the rest, but it was so fucking boring living like that. She wanted something new and exciting, but that meant changing everything and what if it didn't work out and now she had to live with a messed up routine she didn't like?

_but what if it brought you exactly what you've wanted all these years._

"It doesn't even matter anymore anyways! I've already ruined my chances with Doyoung by being such an idiot, I'm never going to get a chance like this ever again and I just have to live with the fact that he's going to move on and find someone else who isn't as much of an idiot as I am."

Rose sighs for the hundredth time that night. "Did you not listen to me? Don't assume things like this until he tells you himself that he's done."

Violet nods her head in defeat and reaches out to hold her sister's hand.

"plus," Rose continues, "if it bothers you so much to think about Doyoung finding someone new, then you need to act before it's too late. Don't keep him waiting and not knowing your true feelings for too long. A person can only wait so long in limbo before it takes a toll on them emotionally. When you're done crying over the mistake you made tonight, go to him and say everything your feeling. Just like he probably did something really terrifying by confessing to you knowing it could ruin your friendship, you need to be brave too."

Violet hadn't thought of it that way, and now that she was it made her feel so much worse about running away and leaving Doyoung to think that he just destroyed their friendship beyond repair.

"okay, I'll do it. Not now but maybe before the New Year starts. So I can finish this year with no regrets."

Rose pulls her in for a tight hug, "that's a good plan honey, I'm sorry I had to be a bit mean but I hope you'll forgive me and understand that I had to do it for your own good."

"I know, I'm still a little salty about it but I'll get over it."

Rose pats her head and gets up from her seat. She goes into the fridge and pulls out a Tupperware container.

"Now, I know that it isn't cake but I hope that these brownies are enough to be comfort food."

Violet perks up, "it can be if you have vanilla ice cream and sprinkles. Wait, maybe I shouldn't. I already had dessert with Doyoung and it would be too much wouldn't it?"

Rose raises an eyebrow.

"I have whipped cream too."

"Fuck it, get the tub of ice cream out. I want extra sprinkles on mine."

* * *

Later that night, Rose posts a picture of the two of them snuggling under a blanket in her living room. Violet whined about how you could still see how puffy her eyes were from crying so much after Rose posted it and her sister insisted that she still looked adorable.

Violet get's a text from Doyoung 15 minutes after it's posted.

_I know this is going to sound creepy but I saw your sister's picture. I'm just glad to know that you're safe. The storm got really nasty after you left._

Violet texts him back, not wanting to leave him hanging again. She won't make that mistake again.

_I promise I’m safe Doyoung. I’m really sorry about leaving, I just got really scared but I’m okay now. I hope you forgive me for running off._

Doyoung responds almost instantly.

_I know you were scared, I was really scared too. I do forgive you, but I also hope that we can talk in person over this._

Violet responds.

_Me too, I have to go now Rose wants to make sure I don’t get sick._

They tell each other goodnight and Violet feels a little better, She knows that she’ll have to confess soon, but at least Doyoung doesn’t hate her guts. Hopefully he’ll still love her too.

* * *

Violet spends the night with her sister, not because she was planning too but because her sister refused to let her leave while the storm was still going on. Although Violet had finished crying hours ago, she was still sniffling and shivering. Rose didn't like the implications of this and immediately gave Violet some cold medicine and wrapped her up in a blanket.

When Violet wakes up in her sister's guest bedroom the next day, she feels absolutely horrible. Her head is heavy and her throat feels rough and scratchy. The moment she sits up in bed she breaks out in a coughing fit and Violet just knows that her sister is going to be so pissed at her for being so reckless and getting herself sick.

Violet gets out of bed and her body aches, her sister is waiting in the kitchen with some breakfast already cooked.

"You got sick didn't you," she asks.

"no."

"don't lie to me I heard you coughing all the way from here. I knew I wouldn't be able to prevent it but at least I can say that I tried. I made some food and make sure to drink some tea with honey for your throat. You are banned from the Keurig today."

Violet groans, but she accepts her fate nonetheless.

* * *

After breakfast, Rose drops her off at her house and leaves her with a kiss on the cheek. Her clothes from the night before are in a bag and were washed and dried while she was asleep. When she gets to her doorstep, Violet freezes.

There's a large box sitting in front of her door addressed to her. She recognizes the handwriting again and sees that it's from Doyoung.

Violet moves it out of the way so she can get inside and carries it to her living room. It wasn't too heavy so she could only assume that whatever was inside wasn't a new oven.

With her keys, Violet tears the tape sealing the box and rips the flaps open. Inside, among colorful tissue paper is the large teddy bear that she fell in love with one time that she went to a department store with Doyoung. It was soft and a light brown color, Violet had immediately fell in love with it when she hugged it and felt how squishy it was. He had tied a ribbon around its neck and Violet felt herself tear up from how silly and sentimental it all was.

When she picked up the bear, she looked to see if there was something else inside the box and she saw the red letter that had been in Doyoung's desk drawer.

Her heart begins to race as she sits the big teddy bear on her couch and reaches for the letter. it was taped shut with a cat sticker and Violet just snorts because of course Doyoung would seal a serious looking letter with a sticker of a cat. She peels the sticker off and opens the envelope, it felt a bit thick so there was more inside the envelope that she had felt when she found it in his drawer that day.

The first thing that Violet pulls out is a bunch of pictures that Doyoung had printed of the two of them. They were all of different little trips they took together over the past three years. Among the pictures of the both of them were more pictures of just Violet not looking at the camera. They were candid moments that Doyoung had captured during the time they spent together and it hurt a little to see how happy she was when she was with him.

Violet sets the photos down and pulls out the next thing in the envelope. It's a piece of paper folded up and she prepares her heart for the worst.

The letter starts out addressing her, and by the time she's finished reading it she's in tears.

_Dear Violet,_

_Originally, I was going to confess to you with this but since I kind of already did that last night I needed to write something new. A part of me regrets confessing so impulsively but I just felt like I couldn't hold it in anymore. It's been 2 years of me hiding's my feelings and in that moment I just felt it all come to a bursting point. I know you're probably thinking the worst case scenarios right now, you think that I hate you or that I'm angry. I could never hate you, I can't say that I'll never be upset with you because that would be lying, but believe me when I say that I could never hate you._

_I love you, Violet. Each day that passes I love you more and things are a bit confusing right now but all that I can trust is that I love you and I want you to be happy, even if it isn't with me. I just couldn't keep living with this secret anymore, each time you would say that no one had their eyes on you I just wanted to scream because I have been loving you for so long and I just wish that you could know without me saying anything. However, that's not how these things work. You can't read my mind and I can't read yours._

_Which is why I need to know, do you love me too? Do you want to be with me as badly as I want to be with you? Do I have a chance or should I give up and move on? You don't have to call me and tell me as soon as you read this, but I need to know eventually. No matter what happens between us, you will always be my best friend and I'll never stop loving you Violet._

She needed to see him soon, if only she wasn't sick she would've run over to his apartment and confessed on the spot.

Violet pulled her phone out of her bag and sent him a text.

_I loved the present Doie, and about your letter_

she hesitates before typing the last part

_you don't have to worry, because when I told you I wanted you too in the restaurant last night, I meant it._

Doyoung reads the message and Violet can see that he begins to type before stopping and calling her instead.

Violet answers the phone right away, she's nervous as hell but she needs to hear his voice.

_"Violet, did you really mean it?"_

"I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it."

There's silence on Doyoung's end until Violet hears a soft sniffling coming from him.

"Doyoung?! Are you okay? Why are you crying?"

_"I'm just so happy...I don't know I can't control it! This is so embarrassing..."_

Violet giggles, "No it's not, it's adorable."

She coughs a bit and Doyoung asks her if she's okay.

"I got sick after last night. I ended up walking for a bit in the rain trying to get to my sister's house and I woke up with a slight cold. I should be better in a few days though!"

_"okay, I hope that you do get better soon. I'll miss you at work until you get back."_

"It's okay, you'll have Jaehyun!"

_"but I would rather have you instead...don't tell him that he'll never let me forget it."_

"Don't worry I won't, I have to go now but it was nice hearing your voice Doyoung..."

_"I'm happy to hear that you're home safe, and I'm also happy that you liked the gift and the letter..."_

"I hope you like your second gift too! It should get to you the 26th so watch out for it!"

They say their goodbyes to each other and hang up. Violet wishes that Doyoung could be there with her, but she knows that they'll have plenty of time with each other in the future. Things were really looking up and Violet could not be any happier.

* * *

Violet doesn't get better until New Years.

she had to spend 6 days recovering and Violet was ready to tear her hair out. She hated missing too much work and hated being stuck at home with nothing to do even more. The little bit of work that she did from home did nothing to calm her down.

Doyoung checked up on her frequently. He called her when he was on his lunch break to ask how she was feeling and if she had taken her medicine yet. Talking to Doyoung like this, like they were a real couple, made Violet's heart do flips in her chest and after every phone call she found herself squealing into her pillow from happiness.

She was glad that she was better by New Years though, because she did not want to miss the party that the company was hosting at a hotel. These parties were always something to look forward to, the company went all out for the event and Violet was already excited to see everyone after being bedridden for almost a week.

Not only that, she was finally going to see Doyoung after they confessed to each other. Violet was really nervous to see him again and she was already overthinking what she would wear and what she would say to him when she saw him again.

He had called her that morning asking if she was feeling well enough to go, and when she told him that she would see him there, Doyoung started babbling excitedly and Violet thought it was the most adorable thing in the world.

Nothing in the world could make her happier than she felt in this moment, Violet couldn't believe that there was a point in her life that she was okay with being alone. Being with Doyoung made her realize everything that she was depriving herself of and at first, she got angry with herself. She hated herself for being so dumb but she knew that she couldn't focus on that anymore. All Violet could do now was make sure that she didn't repeat her past mistakes and to learn from them instead of resent them.

Looking through her closet for the tenth time that afternoon, Violet was conflicted between going casual and making sure that she was the hottest person in the building. She decided to ask her sister for help.

_Rose, do I dress casual or make sure that I'm the hottest person at the party_

_If you go casual to this party I will beat your ass_

Looks like her decision was made, and Violet reached for the floor length, fitted satin dress and got ready for the party.

* * *

Maybe Violet took a little too long getting ready for the party. Maybe her straightener broke before she had the chance to use it so she had to make a quick run to the nearest store to buy a new one. Maybe she redid her eyeliner 5 times while furiously telling herself that “eyeliner wings are SISTERS NOT TWINS.”

So she hopped into a cab and was heading to the party 3 hours after it started, she’ll be fashionably late for the party but at least she looks good. It was now 9:30 PM and it would take her about half and hour to get to the hotel if everything went smoothly. 

Violet had texted Doyoung that she was finally on her way but he hadn’t opened the message yet, there probably wasn’t good service in the party full of people or he was just busy talking with everyone so she didn’t worry too much over it. Hopefully it didn’t take her too long to find him once she got there.

Although she had her nice and fluffy faux fur coat with her, it was hardly enough to keep her warm at this point of the year. When she finally arrived at the hotel 45 minutes later, Violet shivered as she walked into the lobby.

Her coat was taken and she was directed to a ballroom on the top floor, she was offered a room but she declined. Why would there be a need for her to have a room when she was planning to go back home afterwards?

The elevator ride was quite, save for a few people that got on the elevator as quickly as they hopped off of it. The only people that Violet ran into were guests staying in the hotel as everyone from the company should already be at the party, except for herself.

When Violet finally reached the top floor, she was buzzing with excitement. Finally, she would get to see Doyoung again and maybe hold his hand…and if she was lucky maybe a kiss on the cheek too.

As she approached the double doors, they swung open and revealed Sicheng dragging Yuta and Taeil along with them.

They both spotted Violet and waved at her.

“Yo! You look so tall right now!” Yuta yelled.

“Thanks! It’s the five inch heels doing all that for me.”

“Taeil you should stand next to her so we can see the height difference.”

“Say anything more and I won’t go home with either of you.”

The three of them quickly explain their reasons for leaving so early, neither of them really made sense but Violet knew that they were escaping so that they could spend New Years in private with each other. They all complimented each other on their outfits and went their separate ways. 

Violet made it past the double doors and was met with the party going full force. There was music blasting and the lights were dimmed. Several tables and decorations covered the ballroom and the bar was packed with people trying to get drinks. The dance floor was even more crowded with people dancing like there was no tomorrow.

The party looked so lively and fun, but all Violet could think about now was where she could find Doyoung.

Every person she ran into complimented her on her look for the night, many hugs and cheek kisses were exchanged and by the end of each conversation she was told all the different places that Doyoung had been spotted.

Almost a whole hour passes and she still can’t find Doyoung. Violet gets a bit frustrated so she grabs a martini from the bar and sits at a covered balcony looking over the night view.

Violet stirs around her drink and taps her foot impatiently. She checks her phone every 5 seconds and still no response from Doyoung. She’s about to get up for a second martini when she feels a tap from behind on her shoulder.

“What’s the prettiest girl at the party doing here all by herself?"

Violet jumps in her seat and turns around to see Doyoung standing right there. She can’t control her smile and she see’s that he also can’t either. Although Doyoung is dressed in a classic tux, there’s something about the way it hugs his broad shoulders and accentuates his body shape that makes Violet’s knees go weak.

This man was so handsome and he was all hers.

“Doyoung! I’ve been looking everywhere for you since I got here!” Violet whines.

“I know, I just had a ton of people coming up to me letting me know that you were looking for me. Along with several comments about how lovely you looked, which they were 100% right about by the way.”

Doyoung takes a seat in the chair that’s next to her, he reaches for her hand and holds it gently. Violet holds in a breath and feels her face get warm.

When she looks at Doyoung, she can’t see if his face is flushed or not due to the dim lights, but she can tell how nervous he is by the way his eyes keep shifting.

“…Is this okay?” He asks in a soft voice.

Violet nods and tells him that it’s okay, even though her inner voice is screaming “holy shit holy shit he’s too fucking precious for this world I can’t believe this man wants to hold MY hand”

When Doyoung starts rubbing his thumb against her hand, Violet feels her heart melt into a puddle. Even with the music playing loudly and the masses of people moving around the venue, all Violet can focus on is the man sitting right next to her holding her hand like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do.

They sit in silence for a few minutes, Violet stares at their linked hands and smiles to herself as she does so. She can’t believe that this is actually real, she is actually here with Doyoung, holding his hand and knowing that he is just as overwhelmed with happy emotions as she is.

“Violet, I’ve missed you so much. I’m so happy that you’re here with me.”

“I’m happy too Doyoung! Being at home sick sucked a lot but knowing that I would get to see you today made the wait worth it.”

Doyoung smiles, “yeah, are you sure you’re 100% better now?”

Violet nods, “don’t worry, I’m not contagious anymore so you can kiss me at midnight if you want!”

She laughs as she watches Doyoung sputter in his now completely flustered state. Violet takes the last sip from her martini and squeezes Doyoung’s hand.

“Since you’re here now why don’t we go get some drinks together? I definitely want another one of these babies before midnight!”

“I’m staying in a room here so I guess I’ll join in too, I won’t have to worry about driving later.”

Violet raises an eyebrow, “you actually bought a room here?”

“Yeah, I figured it would be convenient for if anything happened, and the rooms are really nice so I might as well get my money’s worth!”

Doyoung pulled his phone out of his pocket and pulled of a photo of the bathroom, “look at how huge the bathtub is! You could practically swim in it! And the beds are really soft plus a really nice view!”

He scrolls through more photos until he swipes onto a bathroom mirror selfie he took of himself in his tux. Doyoung quickly tries to swipe back but Violet snatches his phone to look at it longer.

“Doie~ you look so handsome! Why haven’t you posted this yet?”

“Violet! It’s not that big of a deal! I was going to ask for your opinion before I posted it which is why I hadn’t yet.” 

Violet looks at the photo again, he did look really good but maybe it would look better with something else...

“Why don’t you post this one but also post one of us together! Only if you want to though,” she suggests.

“Well good thing the mirror is big enough for us, why don’t we get some drinks and then ditch. Even though the party has been fun I kind of want to spend some time with you all to myself...only if you want to though!”

Violet pretends to contemplate her answer for a few minutes before linking arms with Doyoung and giving him a chaste kiss on the cheek.

“I would love to do anything as long as I got to be with you.”

“T-then I’ll go ahead and lead the way.”

They’re halfway out of the main ballroom when they got stopped by Jaehyun.

“Are you guys leaving already? It’s an hour until midnight come on! Won’t you two stay for a bit longer?”

Doyoung shakes his head, “sorry Jae, we have something really important to take care of.”

Jaehyun looks to violet and she simply replies, “we have to take selfies in the bathroom mirror of his hotel room for Instagram.”

He looks at the couple warily before his face breaks out in a questioning smile.

“So...you’re telling me that you two are leaving the party an hour early...to take Instagram pictures in Doyoung’s hotel room...”

“Yeah, that’s what I said,” Violet answers.

“So you two are just going to take Instagram pictures? Nothing else?”

Violet feels Doyoung tighten his hold on her arm and she looks up at him to see him already looking at her.

She nods her head and looks back at Jaehyun, “Yeah, you better like the pictures when we post them later too!”

Jaehyun narrows his eyes and looks at them suspiciously.

“Doyoung, use protection. Violet...your sister is going to be really happy about this since she’s now won 500 dollars.”

“What do you mean? What...were you guys betting on us?!” 

“Yeah, it was between me, Rose, Yuta, Taeil, Sicheng, And Irene. If only you two couldn’t have waited another week I would’ve won!”

Doyoung sputters and Violet pretends to be upset at their friends for doing such a thing.

“Before I leave you two to ‘take Instagram pictures’...Doyoung, you have red lipstick on your cheek. Just thought you might want to know.”

Jaehyun walks away and leaves Violet to burst into a fit of laughter while Doyoung gets his phone out to look at his reflection in the black phone screen. As Doyoung is observing the mark left on his cheek, Violet leans in to leave another one right next to it.

“Agh! Violet! Why didn’t you say something? Jaehyun is totally going to tease me about it later.”

Violet pouts, “is it so bad that people know it was me that kissed you?”

“N-no! That’s not it!”

“Then what is it Doie?”

Doyoung grumbles incoherently while Violet gives him her most dazzling smile and he eventually gives up and continues leading her to his hotel room.

The second they walk into Doyoung’s hotel room, Violet fast paces towards the window that spans from the ceiling to the floor. It gives them a wide view of the city underneath and all the pretty lights and decorations that have been set out for New Years.

“Woah! This view is so pretty Doyoung! You can see everything from here! There’s so many people outside for the countdown!”

Doyoung walks up from behind and wraps his arms around her waist.

“Is this okay?” He asks her gently.

Violet smiles, “Yeah, it’s more than okay.”

He lightly kisses her shoulder and they both look at the view of the city together.

After a few minutes Violet turns around, “Where’s the fancy bathroom you were showing me Doie?”

“Oh! It’s over here!” He moves away from Violet and walks towards another door in the room. 

Doyoung opens the door and lets her step in first, Violet gasps as she takes in everything for herself. 

The tub was huge and in person it looked like it could easily fit four people. There were baskets full of pretty soaps and bath salts on the side and the decorative towels gave such an elegance to the bathroom. 

“Doyoung is this heaven?” Violet asks.

“I’m pretty sure it is, I have an angel standing in front of me as proof.”

“Okay hot shot you better calm down before I kiss the hell out of you,” Violet teases.

“Who’s to say that isn’t my goal?”

Violet was blindsided by Doyoung’s sudden boldness and felt her legs turn to jelly. He was smiling at her, knowing exactly the effect that his words had on her.

“J-just pose with me so we can take the damn picture!” Violet says.

Violet stands in the middle of the mirror and pulls Doyoung to stand next to her. They both look at each other, expecting the other to make the first move on how they should pose for the picture but neither being brave enough to make the first move.

Doyoung starts, “Should I-"

“Just do whatever you want we can always look through the ones took and pic the best one.”

They shuffle around each other more until they settle for Doyoung wrapping his arm around Violet’s waist and her wrapping her arms around his neck. Doyoung made sure to pull her in close and Violet hoped that he couldn’t feel the way her heart was pounding in her chest.

He took a few pictures and quickly showed Violet his phone screen so that she could look over them as well. She continued to cling onto Doyoung and Violet occasionally felt him squeeze her tighter to his body.

“Are you trying to suffocate me honey?” She asks jokingly.

“No, just want to remind myself that this is all actually real.”

Violet whines and puts her head down.

“Doyoung…stop being so cute it’s making it hard for me to not kiss you silly right now!”

He sets his phone on the bathroom counter and brings his free hand up to hold Violet’s face.

“Then stop holding back, there’s no need to anymore. I’m already yours Violet, so if you want me then you can have me,” Doyoung says gently.

Violet looks into his eyes and all she sees is nothing but certainty in his words and a bit of shyness looking back at her. She leans in a bit closer until the tips of their noses are brushing lightly against each other and she allows Doyoung to finish closing the rest of the distance between each other.

There, in the middle of the hotel bathroom on New Years Eve, Doyoung and Violet share their first kiss. 

After so much time spent waiting and tip-toeing around each other and their own feelings, when Violet’s kissing Doyoung it feels like the sun warming her skin after being in a cold room, like drinking water after a heavy workout, like drinking hot chocolate in the winter and letting the warmth fill you from the inside; all those little moments of comfort and relief come to mind when Violet is kissing Doyoung and it makes her never want to let go.

The two of them are too wrapped up in their endless amount of kisses to notice Doyoung’s phone going off next to them. Violet doesn’t want to stop but eventually Doyoung can’t fight the urge to see who is deciding to bother them at this moment. 

“It’s fucking Jaehyun,” Doyoung says exasperated.

Violet sighs, “Give me the phone.”

Doyoung hands it to her and she opens up the camera. Violet pulls him in close and snaps a quick picture of the both of them. Despite it being blurry, the lipstick that has now painted Doyoung’s lips red is obvious enough to hint at what is going on between the two of them.

Violet opens Jaehyun’s messages, all of them asking where they are because its 20 minutes until midnight and if they’re going to join the party again. She selects the picture and sends it to him.

_Doyoung can’t come to the phone right now. He’s busy._

She hands Doyoung his phone back and he see’s what she sent to him and laughs.

“God, I’m going to kiss you again,” he says.

“Why don’t we get out of this bathroom and somewhere more comfy…only if you want to though.”

“Of course I want to, you haven’t felt how soft the bed is yet.”

Violet smiles and gives him a chaste kiss on the lips before rushing out from the bathroom. Doyoung follows behind and is pulled onto the large hotel bed by a smiling Violet.

“Someone’s eager,” Doyoung says.

“Don’t try and act like you aren’t either Doie.”

“Well, you got me there.”

Doyoung sits closer to Violet and runs his hands through her hair. Violet leans into his touch and pulls him in for a tight hug.

“Doyoung, how cliche would it be if we…you know…at midnight.”

“If we ‘you know’ what Violet?” Doyoung asks.

“You know! The thing where-“

“Violet we are grown adults you can say fuck.”

“Doyoung! When you put it that way it sounds so vulgar,” Violet whines. 

“I was right though! And if you want me to do anything you need to tell me, or else I won’t know what you want.”

Violet pulls away from hugging Doyoung and looks at him, “I want you Doyoung, I want all of you tonight.”

“And I want all of you too.”

The couple smile at each other shyly before leaning in for a kiss again. In between the heat and the passion, Doyoung gets his outer jacket removed and thrown across the room and Violet struggles with unbuttoning his shirt. Doyoung doesn’t relent and kisses Violet like he’s trying to steal her breath away, contradicting with the way his gentle hands are stroking her waist. 

When Violet gets to the last few buttons, Doyoung pulls away and helps her finish the job. Violet pushes the fully unbuttoned shirt off of his shoulders and down his arms. It too joins the jacket somewhere on the floor. 

Both of the straps of Violet’s dress are now hanging off her shoulders and she turns around to let Doyoung pull the zipper down. As he does so, Doyoung is peppering kisses along her shoulders and he pushes her hair to the aide so he can kiss along her spine. Violet breaks into a full body tremor from the sensation of Doyoung’s breath against her skin.

Violet pulls her dress off and lets it fall to the floor, only her undergarments remain and she notices the way that Doyoung’s eyes darken. 

He moves closer to her on the bed and gently guides Violet to lay down on the sheets. She looks up at him and brings her hands up to cup his cheeks. Doyoung turns his head to kiss the inside of one of her palms and then lowers himself to kiss her on the lips. 

Violet helps guide Doyoung’s hands, she notices that he’s a bit too shy to touch her yet so she reassures him through their lips locking that she trusts him with all of herself. 

She brings one of his hands to rest over her breast and Violet gasps into his mouth when she feels him begin to squeeze of fondle at the soft skin. His other hand is running down her stomach and Violet just wants Doyoung to touch her already.

Doyoung moves away from her lips to trace his own along her jaw and down her neck. When he gets to her chest, Violet arches her back to remove the clasp of her bra. Once removed, Doyoung begins kissing and sucking at her breasts, leaving red and purple marks forming on her skin. 

When Doyoung suddenly stops and sits up, Violet nearly cries.

“Why’d you stop?” she asks.

“Because I kinda want to go down on you, unless you don’t want to then we can do something else.”

Violet sighs and covers her face with her hands, “Doyoung if you don’t eat me out in the next 2 seconds I’ll cry.”

He leans in to kiss her softly, “don’t worry, I’ll be more than glad to.”

Violet puts her hand in Doyoung’s hair as he inches closer to where she needs him the most. When Doyoung starts gently tugging her panties down, she helps him out by lifting up her hips. He throws those somewhere on the bed and runs kisses down the inside of Violet’s thighs. It makes Violet shiver and Doyoung smiles at how the anticipation is making her react. There’s a bit of shyness mixed with the undying need of for him to get his hands all over her and make her feel amazing.

When Doyoung places the first few kisses over Violet’s core, he feels the way she grips his hair tighter for a moment. He smiles to himself and doesn’t tease her any further. 

As Doyoung gets to work with his tongue, Violet can only vocalize how good it feels through her loud moans and strings of curses in between. Doyoung wasn’t just good at talking with clients with that mouth, he was eating her out like it was the best meal he would ever have in his life. 

Doyoung switches between teasing her clit with the tip of his tongue and licking deep inside her core, there’s a few other things he does in between and it makes Violet’s toes curl and her eyes roll back. 

After some time, Doyoung just starts putting all his attention on stimulating her clit. The sudden rise of intensity of the pleasure she was receiving makes Violet sit up and not know whether to pull away or pull Doyoung closer to keep making her feel so good her thighs shake.

“D-Doyoung, if you keep going at it like that I’m going to cum,” Violet says with a shaky voice.

Doyoung doesn’t answer and looks up at Violet before he begins sucking gently as well with the light teasing touches with his tongue. Violet’s breaths come out faster and harsher, she can’t put words together to describe how amazing it feels to have Doyoung go down on her. Her mind is so full of thoughts of how she’s fallen in love with Doyoung because of how good he is at eating pussy she cant’t possibly conjure up any new ones.

When Doyoung feels Violet’s hips begin to stutter, that’s when he holds tight onto her thighs and lap up the slick that comes out as Violet orgasms. Violet’s eyes water from the intensity of the orgasm and she knows she’s probably woken up the whole floor of the hotel with how loud she yelled Doyoung’s name. When she begins to feel the overstimulation she pushes Doyoung’s head away and watches as he lick his lips and wipes his chin. She pulls him in for a deep kiss and as their tongues brush against each other she can still taste herself on him.

Violet run’s her hands down Doyoung’s body and when she gets to his crotch, she feels how hard he still is through his dress pants.

“Doyoung, why don’t I help you out with that? You have condoms right?”

He nods and pulls one out of his pocket. Violet giggles and makes Doyoung blush.

“You really came prepared for anything didn’t you?”

He sputters, “I mean you never know what can happen, I had to consider all options.”

“So that means you thought about fucking tonight while you were considering options,” Violet teases.

“...I mean of course I did, I like you a lot and I thought that if you would want it too that it wouldn’t be so bad and I just wanted to be prepare.”

Violet kisses him and starts undoing Doyoung’s belt and pulling his pants zipper down.

“In your preparation, what position was I in when you thought about us having sex?”

“How-”

“Was I on my back?” Violet pulls his pants down. “Or maybe I was on my knees? And you took me from behind...” she pulls his briefs down. 

“It was neither of those, I thought about you riding me,” Doyoung says, a little winded from Violet gently stroking his dick finally. She slicks him up and Doyoung pulls her in for kisses, he groans into her mouth as she starts stroking him faster and Violet bites and tugs at his bottom lip. 

When it starts to feel overwhelming with pleasure, Doyoung grabs Violet’s hand to make her stop and he reaches for the condom. He quickly tears the packaging and rolls it onto his dick, wanting to become one with Violet like he’s never wanted anything before.

Violet gently pushes Doyoung so he’s laying back in the numerous hotel pillows and she climbs onto his lap. Her heart melts at the way Doyoung looks at her with so much softness and adoration. 

“How does it feel to have your little fantasies come true?” Violet asks.

“Technically I’m not inside you yet so-”

“Doyoung! You know what I mean!”

He laughs and blows Violet a kiss, “yes I do know, I’m kinda nervous and I’m using terrible humor to cope.”

“Why are you nervous? It’s just me baby.”

“I’m nervous because it is you, I just want to make you happy and feel great tonight. I don’t want to mess up,” Doyoung says shyly.

“Doyoung...You literally made me cum like 5 minutes ago of course you’re doing amazing. Remember that? Remember when I probably yelled so loud the neighbors probably already know your name.” 

“Yeah I know, that’ll really help me for when I need a little ego boost, but you’re just so...so beautiful and amazing and I just want to do right by you and make this the best night for you.”

Violet leans down and kisses Doyoung, soft and slow. “And it already is the best night for me, it has been ever since I saw you for the first time tonight. I love you and all that you’re doing, literally I’m so in love with you Doyoung you don’t have to worry about a thing.”

Doyoung looks at Violet, and they both smile gently at each other. They give each other one last kiss before Violet raises up her hips and lines up Doyoung’s dick to her entrance. He lets out a broken sigh as Violet slowly sinks down onto him, she sees the way Doyoung squeezes his eyes shut and groans when Violet finally has him all inside of her. 

“Violet...oh my god. I feel like I’m gonna cum already.”

Violet laughs, “if you cum I’ll just make you cum again, if you’re down for that.”

“Jesus Christ,” he breathes out. “You really could if you wanted to you know.”

“You’re really cute Doyoung, are you into pegging? Because I would totally do it for you if you wanted I bet you’d be really cute.”

“Violet, please don’t put this image in my head while I’m trying to hold back from cumming too quick,” he whines.

Violet smirks, “So is that a yes?”

Before Doyoung can respond, she begins to move her hips. “You would look so cute for me Doyoung, don’t you think?”

He nods his head quickly and grips Violet’s things as she quickens up the pace of her movements and starts riding Doyoung’s dick into the expensive hotel mattress. 

“Imagine yourself bent over for me...God just thinking about it makes me wet. Can you feel it too Doyoung?”

“Y-Yes, oh my god yes I can. I would let you peg me Violet, I would let you do anything to me-oh my god.”

Violet moans, “oh baby, maybe you could ride me like I’m riding you right now. God I can’t wait for that.”

At that sentence, Doyoung grabs her hips and flips their positions so that Violet is laying on her back now. Doyoung hovers over her as be begins to plow inside of Violet. 

“I can’t wait either,” Doyoung says as he breathes out harshly. “I can’t fucking wait to do everything with you.”

Violet reaches for Doyoung’s shoulders, needing something to hold onto as he’s fucking her so good she needs something to ground herself. With the way he’s groaning and telling her how good she feels, Violet knows that she’s not going to last much longer. Judging from how Doyoung is going at it so desperately she knows he isn’t going to last longer that her either.

“Doyoung, I’m going to cum soon if you keep talking like that.”

“Like what? You like hearing me tell you how much I want you to fuck me in your apartment?”

Violet nods, “god, the fact you wanna do this again and in so many places in each of our apartments, the domesticity turns me on.”

“So if I tell you about how I want to buy house plants with you will that make you cum?” He asks.

Violet smacks his shoulder, “no! But...not gonna lie that almost got me.”

“How about me telling you about how I wanna cook breakfast for you-”

“Doyoung that’s too-”

“While I’m naked.”

Violet’s eyes widen and Doyoung smiles at her.

“You wouldn’t,” Violet gasps.

“I would, just like how I’m gonna make you cum right now.”

“D-Doyoung,” Violet stutters out. His movements aren’t so desperate, but one of his hands has started working on her clit and Violet doesn’t think she can hold it any longer.

When Violet feels the warmth of Doyoung’s cum filling out the condom, that’s when she finally lets go. Her thighs tremble and she digs her nails into Doyoung’s shoulder as she orgasms and she faintly hears him moaning out her name. 

They pull each other in, their lips meet in a sloppy kiss, the both of them too worn out to care. After cumming twice all Violet wants to do is sleep, she can already feel how sore her legs are going to be tomorrow morning.

Doyoung pulls away first and tries his best to clean up the room a little. The most that he’s able to do before Violet begs him to come back to bed with her is gather up their clothes in one place. Violet has already gotten under the plush bedsheets and is fighting to stay awake.

When Doyoung crawls into the bed next to her, he immediately wraps his arms around her waist. Violet smiles and turns to give him one last kiss goodnight before knocking out.

On the streets below there’s people celebrating the new year, there’s fireworks being set off and families and friends hugging each other. All their friends that they left behind at the party are all celebrating with drinks and all the couples have given each other their traditional New Years Kiss. For Doyoung and Violet, it was more of a New Years fuck but it was just as romantic and was long overdue.

* * *

The next morning, Violet is woken up by the smell of food. It smelled like coffee and pancakes and she couldn’t wait to relieve her grumbling stomach. When Violet sits up, she sees that Doyoung is no longer in bed and their clothes have all been picked up and folded on the end of the bed. She searches for her phone and finds it on the floor with, thankfully, 40% battery left.

The minute she wakes her phone it starts buzzing with a call from her sister. She considers picking up, but Violet knows that if she’s calling it’s because she’s probably already texted her a dozen times.

“Hi Rose how-”

_“Hello my lovely sister who I love so much and is the reason why I’m going to go on a shopping spree later this week. How was it? Is he still there? Am I interrupting something?”_

Violet laughs, “you’re good Rose, I smell pancakes so I’m sure he’s probably called room service over and it just got here. Also, you guys really bet on us fucking?”

_“Wow he’s getting you breakfast in bed how romantic~ and of course we bet on you! Jaehyun thought you guys would hook up after New Years but I knew better and I won! Yuta lost a while ago, he was one of the first to go following his boyfriends.”_

“Oh my god, who wasn’t in on this bet?”

_“Seulgi didn’t want to join. She couldn’t afford to lose any money since she’s saving up for her vacation in Paris with Irene. I think Sicheng almost slipped up and exposed us a few months ago but thank god for Doyoung being too in love with you to notice.”_

Violet sighs, “you guys are unbelievable, Seulgi is the only person in the whole office I can trust now.”

_“Whatever, anyways don’t think I’ve forgotten. How was Doyoung...you know...I need to know if he treated my favorite sister right.”_

“I’m you’re only sister! And if you want to know so bad it was so amazing. I literally knocked out after the second time and I already can’t wait for next time. Girl, he’s going to let me peg him.”

Violet pulls away from her phone as she hears her sister yelling incoherently. _“No fucking way, no fucking way is he going to let you. You’re lying!”_

“I’m not lying! He literally begged me to do it and what am I supposed to do? Say no?”

_“Oh my god Violet I’m so happy for you. I’m so glad you two finally got your shit together, and I’m proud of you for letting him in. I know it wasn’t easy but I hope that seeing how great things turned out it makes it less scary for you to trust him.”_

“Yeah, I think that fear isn’t going to go away all at once but I’ve never wanted anything more than I’ve wanted to be with him and I really want to make this work.”

_“And that’s all it takes Violet, as long as you both want to be with each other and want to work out any bump in the road together, that fear that you have will slowly not be as dominant in your life. Doyoung is a good man and I just know that he won’t do anything to hurt you on purpose._”

Violet can hear her sister sniffling and she begins to feel a bit choked up herself.

“Are you crying Rose?” She asks.

_“Of course I’m crying! You finally get to be happy with a really good guy and we can go on double dates and vacations together! There’s so many happy things to look forward too and I hope that you can see them too!”_

At that moment the door opens and Doyoung peeks through.

“Hey Violet, I’m sorry to interrupt but I don’t want the food to get cold.”

Violet nods, “Yeah Rose, I can see what you mean. I have to go now, Doyoung’s calling me over for breakfast but I’ll see you soon okay!”

_“Okay Violet! I love you and stay safe!”_

She ends the call and looks at Doyoung. His hair is still a sticking up in the back from sleeping against the pillows and his face is puffy with sleep but all Violet can see us the man who loves her and wants to be with her as badly as she wants to be with him. 

Although the past hasn’t been too kind to her and Violet’s has to go through some real tough shit, Doyoung is that breath of fresh air that she’s been secretly hoping for. After years of living on edge and isolating herself, Violet feels like she can finally breathe. There’s a lot of interesting things that life throws at you, and Violet no longer wants to live a life where she avoids these spontaneous throws. For now, Violet wants to enjoy what life has thrown in her path. For now, Violet wants to get out of bed and eat breakfast with Doyoung. She wants to take a nice bath in that huge hotel bathtub with him and maybe go to the park later. 

There’s so many things that Violet has to look forward to, and she wants to take them as they come to her. The nagging voice in the back of her head is trying to tell her to run away while she can, he’s going to flip a 180 and kick her out and she’s going to be all alone again. However, it’s constant negativity is now being overpowered by the way Doyoung makes her mind feel all fuzzy and warm. Instead of hearing those toxic reminders of people that have hurt her in the past, Violet can only focus on the hope that has been reintroduced to her life through his sister and through Doyoung. 

Violet gets out of bed and pulls Doyoung’s button up shirt from last night over herself. Doyoung takes her hand and leads her to where their fancy breakfast was waiting for them.

“So I got a variety of things but I know you really love pancakes so I made sure to order you that. If you want anything else you can have some of mine or we can order more. It’s all on me,” he says.

“Wow, you really know how to make a girl feel special. You even got them with the strawberries and whipped cream too! I need to take a picture of this hold on.”

When Violet’s posted her breakfast on Instagram, she sees that she’s been tagged in a post by Doyoung. She taps on the post and sees the pictures that they took last night, along with a caption that makes her heart clench.

Hey everyone, I know it isn’t a shock to some of you but we’re together now. We’ve come a long way and I can’t wait to make memories with the best girl in the whole world.

“Doyoung...I feel so lucky that you’re mine,” Violet says in a choked up voice.

He reaches for her hand and brings it to his lips. “All I want is to make you happy, you deserve it so much Violet. You deserve the whole world and I want to show that to you.”

“I’ll gladly let you, I trust you Doyoung. And that’s hard for me to say but I trust you and I hope that you trust me too.”

Doyoung nods, “I do, and I feel blessed to have you put your trust in me. I promise to do my best so that you don’t regret it. Now why don’t we dig in now, before the food gets any cooler.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice! I’m ready to drown these babies in syrup!”

* * *

_Two years later_

“Doyoung, you need to chill out. We’ve been planning this for months, nothing is going to go wrong.”

“But Jaehyun! You never know, what if traffic is rough and she isn’t able to meet me in the airport and I won’t be able to propose then and there!”

Jaehyun sighs, “I’m sure that Violet wouldn’t want to miss the opportunity to see you as soon as she could. Rose told me all about how much she’s missed you while she’s been on her business trip.”

Right now, Doyoung and Jaehyun were on a flight to the US, New York to be exact. Violet had already left a week prior due to business and the two of them took the opportunity to take a little break before they were due back at work. Doyoung specifically was taking the opportunity to finally pop the question, Jaehyun was doing his best to provide moral support to his best friend that was giving him second hand nervousness.

An announcement by the flight attendant lets them know that they will be arriving at the airport soon. The weight of the ring box in his pocket grows heavier and Doyoung tries not to hyperventilate.

Sifting through the heavy crowds in the airport was exhausting, Doyoung nearly snapped at a man that cut him off and almost knocked him over. Doyoung loved traveling, but he hated airports with a passion.

Once they had their suitcases, they began walking to where they were meeting with Violet. She had texted Doyoung letting him now that she was already waiting for him by the exit. This news was good for his plan but was doing a number on his nerves.

However, no matter how nervous he got, Doyoung wasn’t going to deviate from the plan. He was going to propose to Violet, he had been wanting to for the past few months and it was now or never. 

When they got to the bottom of the escalator Doyoung heard a familiar voice calling for the both of them. 

He looked up and saw his girlfriend running towards them. She was wearing a long yellow sundress, it was the middle of summer and the heat was practically unbearable, and before she got to them Doyoung dropped everything and got down on one knee.

Violet’s running slowed down and Doyoung reached into his pocket for the ring. From his peripheral vision he can see Jaehyun pull out his phone to record and a few people in the airport realizing what was about to happen in front of them.

When Violet finally stops in front of Doyoung, she’s smiling and holding her hands to her chest.

“Doyoung...what’s this about?” She asks, her voice shaking.

“Violet,” he starts, “these past 2 years of being your boyfriend have been the best 2 years of my life. Waking up beside you every morning and getting to live each day knowing that I’ll come home to you every afternoon has made me so happy and feel complete in so many ways. I don’t want to have this with anyone else. I love you so much and I want to have much longer than 2 years with you. I want forever with you by my side so-”

He’s knocked over by Violet’s tight hug and he can feel her shaking.

“Yes Doyoung, I’ll marry you.” She pulls away and Doyoung can see the tears streaming down her face. “I want forever with you too.”

Doyoung smiles and Violet pulls him in for a long kiss. The small crowd that had stopped to watch breaks out in a cheer and Doyoung can hear Jaehyun yelling out his support. 

Violet pulls away and holds Doyoung’s face in his hands, “so when are we going to have the wedding? Can we have a summer wedding?”

He nods, “Do you want to have the wedding by the beach?”

“We could have it in our backyard, I don’t care where as long as by the end of it I get to call you my husband.”

“Well that makes two of us, we have a lot of time to plan the perfect wedding.”

Jaehyun runs up to the couple and helps them to their feet. He tells Violet that he’s already sent the proposal video to her and her sister and she hugs him and thanks him for capturing such a beautiful moment in their lives.

The newly engaged couple walk out of the crowded airport and Doyoung feels like he’s on top of the world next to his fiancé. Violet holds onto his hand tight and clings to his side, filling him in on how she was able to avoid a huge traffic jam using this little detour. 

They had the rest of their lives to look forward to together, and this was only the beginning. Doyoung couldn’t describe with words how excited he was, so he simply held onto Violet and kissed her as many times as he could. He would have plenty of time to string a few words together, in fact, he pretty much had forever.

**Author's Note:**

> twitter: [@gitterjungwoo](https://twitter.com/glitterjungwoo)


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